The Stories We Tell Ourselves: How Mindset Shapes Your Reality

Anya W
Jun 29
4 min read

We all live by stories. They guide how we see the world, how we see ourselves, and ultimately, the choices we make every single day. Some of these stories empower us, while others hold us back without us even realizing it.

You might not think of yourself as a storyteller, but you are. Every time you say, “I’m not good at that,” “This always happens to me,” or “That’s just the way I am,” you are shaping your identity through a story. And the more you repeat it, the more it becomes your reality.

But here’s the powerful truth: you can change the story. And when you do, your life begins to transform.

How Stories Shape Our Reality

Our brain loves patterns. It’s constantly looking for meaning, connecting dots, and creating narratives so that we feel a sense of order in a chaotic world. These stories come from:

Childhood experiences
Family beliefs
Cultural expectations
Past failures or successes
Things others have said to us

For example, maybe you grew up hearing, “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” and now, as an adult, you find yourself constantly stressed about finances, even when you’re doing okay. Or perhaps you failed a test in school once and decided, “I’m just not smart,” and that single moment shaped how you approached opportunities later in life.

These stories feel so real because they are woven into our identity. But they’re not always the truth — they’re just beliefs we’ve repeated long enough to accept as facts.

The Difference Between Limiting and Empowering Stories

Not all stories are bad. Some give us strength and direction:

“I am resilient — I always get back up.”
“I take care of my body because I deserve to feel good.”
“I can figure things out even when I don’t have all the answers.”

But limiting stories sound more like this:

“I’ll never lose the weight — I’ve tried everything.”
“I’m too old to change careers.”
“Relationships just don’t work out for me.”

Notice the difference? Empowering stories open doors. Limiting stories close them. And the scary part is that most of us don’t even realize we’re living inside a story that’s keeping us stuck.

Mindset: The Lens That Colors Your World

Your mindset is the collection of stories you tell yourself. If those stories are filled with doubt, fear, and negativity, then every situation will look harder, scarier, and less possible. But if your mindset is shaped by resilience, possibility, and self-belief, then even challenges become opportunities.

Think of mindset like a pair of glasses. If your lenses are dirty, scratched, or tinted dark, the world will always look a little dim. But if you clean the lenses, the world doesn’t actually change — your view of it does. Coaching helps you clean those lenses.

Why We Hold Onto Old Stories

You might wonder, “If my stories are limiting me, why don’t I just let them go?”

The truth is, old stories give us a strange sense of safety. Even when they’re painful, they’re familiar. If you’ve always told yourself, “I’m not athletic,” then you never have to risk being embarrassed in a fitness class. If your story is, “I can’t trust people,” then you don’t have to risk opening your heart and getting hurt.

These stories are a form of protection. But protection also means limitation.

Rewriting Your Story Through Coaching

This is where coaching becomes powerful. Coaching is not about fixing you — because you are not broken. Coaching is about helping you see the stories you’ve been living by, questioning whether they are serving you, and supporting you as you rewrite them into ones that empower you.

Here’s how:

Awareness – You start noticing the patterns in your language and thoughts.
Exploration – You ask: “Is this story actually true? Where did it come from?”
Reframing – You choose a new story that feels more aligned with who you want to be.
Action – You practice living into that new story through small, consistent steps.

For example, a client who once said, “I can’t stick to any routine,” began to reframe it as, “I’m learning how to build habits that support me.” That shift opened the door to trying again — and this time, she succeeded.

Coaching vs. Therapy: Two Different Paths

Both therapy and coaching are becoming more and more popular because people are realizing they want tools, not just survival.

Therapy often focuses on healing the past, processing trauma, and understanding deep emotional patterns.
Coaching focuses on the present and future, helping you create change, build habits, and move forward with clarity and confidence.

They are not the same, but they can complement each other beautifully. Many people benefit from both at different points in their journey.

Why Health and Wellness Are at the Core

You can’t rewrite your story if your foundation isn’t strong. That’s why health and wellness are at the center of everything. When your body feels balanced, your mind is clearer. When you fuel yourself with good food, rest, and movement, you create the energy needed to live your new story.

Wellness isn’t just about green juices or gym memberships — it’s about creating alignment between your physical, mental, and emotional self. Coaching brings all of this together so you can live with intention, not just reaction.

The Ripple Effect of Changing Your Story

When you rewrite your inner story, everything changes:

You feel more confident in making decisions.
You show up differently in relationships.
You take better care of your health.
You stop self-sabotaging and start creating momentum.

Most importantly, you begin to believe in your own potential again. And that belief changes everything.

Final Thoughts

We all tell ourselves stories — some that lift us up, and others that weigh us down. The beautiful thing is, you are the author. You get to decide what the next chapter looks like.

Coaching is the space where you step back, examine your current story, and begin writing a new one with clarity, courage, and purpose.

Because at the end of the day, your life isn’t shaped by what happens to you — it’s shaped by the story you tell yourself about it.